How To Find Happiness and Love

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

You're listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. Sage Hill is a social impact organization that helps people see who they're made to be so they can do what they're made to do. Nothing of wherever where you've been that you wanna get away from is wasted. I want you to hear this now. Nothing of where you've been that you wanna leave is wasted. I was sure that much of my life had been wasted. And the longer I live, the more I'm amazed at how God has used every single thing from the ugliest, the most undesirable places for your benefit and my own, to some of the things I thought would never matter, would never be spoken of because, like, you know, I work construction, I went on a wheat harvest, I lived in Israel, I do all those things. I know those are just had nothing to do with where I was going, but everything plays a part. And once you're in mission, everything is what you bring into where you're headed. So I think you're beginning to hear me say that god is in charge once you move into the world of true desire. I hope you're hearing me say that. And if your goal ultimately is comfort, just true comfort versus something more than that, then you're not ready for the truest desire we're gonna talk about today. The reality though is of how you're gonna live if you face your life is that you're gonna have desire that is greater than comfort. That desire within you is greater than comfort because it seeks discomfort, which we'll talk about. K. There's no should it be, there's or can you face what it already is? K? I'll tell you two stories that might be relevant, and then we'll get into details. But what we're gonna talk about today is desire as survival, desire as satisfaction, and desire as inspiration. And they're all in you and in me. They're all viable. They're all okay. They're all good. They're all like we're made. But unless you have all three, it's not enough. Now here's the story. Let me give you definition of addiction first so we'll frame everything right. Addiction is an impaired attempt to find the life you're made to have or you're looking for. Alright. Let's let's say that living fully is having happiness and love. So let me tell you how to have happiness and let me tell you how to have love, guaranteed. I promise you. I know I know the answer. It took all this time to find it. Happiness will is guaranteed for you if you get good at the seven feelings you don't want. K. Guaranteed. You'll have gladness. I promise you. If you get good at adept, if you become adept at the seven feelings you don't want, do y'all know what I'm talking about? The eight feelings and there's seven you don't like. Right? K. Right? I can't wait to wake up in the morning and get hurt. I can't wait to feel hurt. That's gonna be great. Or like, God, I hope my loneliness is devastating today, so I can really grow. Nobody, unless you're crazy, does that. Did that hurt anybody's feelings when I said that? You'll get that? If you become good at the seven feelings we don't want, then I promise you, you will have a sense of that, like, this is worth doing, sense of well-being. You just will. You will see yourself as that's okay. Now and then love, love is guaranteed. If you are willing to be in pain for something that matters and someone, who matters to you more than pain. Love is guaranteed. If you're willing to be in pain for something slash someone, willing to be in pain for something more than the pain itself, you're willing to be in pain for something that matters more than pain, you're gonna have love. You will be loved and you will love. K? Now you see what I've said is that happiness and love comes from a willingness to discard the comfort that we associate with not having to be in need and not having to feel. A willingness to discard comfort. And if we mean by comfort, not having to feel and not having to be in pain for something that matters more than pain. Okay. If if if by love and happy you're gonna try to get love and happiness and associate with comfort, it's not gonna happen. Because remember I talked last time about the worst thing you can do when it comes to love, when it comes to life and comfort is have children. Because the moment you have children, you've bitten off a contract of pain. You if you get rid of them, you're gonna be in pain. I worked with quite a few adoptive parents, and the pain is racking. Even when it was reasonable and rational and smart and good and loving to say, you must take this child. Even so, the weeping and the weeping and the weeping and the loss. So it's like, well, that hurts. Then if you keep the child and your child grows up and they grow up and they're like super child, I don't know. I've never met met one, but if it's like their super child, they make you look so good. Well, they're gonna go somewhere where you're not and then they're gone. Or you might get a phone call one night, super child's been, like, it gotten in trouble or super child's been run over. Like, the world lost super child. I mean, like or just the the just run of the mill love, the warp and woof of not knowing how we're doing it, but you can't let go of them. You can't stop wishing for them. You they keep growing. You make mistakes, but you so hunger and value all that you all gotten to have together. And then, you know, god, what happens when the phone rings, your cell phone or, your your landline rings at midnight and you say your children are grown, they don't live there? Your first thought isn't, you know, it's a political something or marketing people, your first thought possibly is highway patrol. And then they'll tell you it's like, ma'am, you know, miss, mister, something like that. So that's what I'm saying. It's like, if you're gonna go at what makes us have a full life, you're gonna have to discard comfort. It doesn't mean you don't have comfort, it can't be your primary goal. It can't be your primary focus. It can't be your primary function. Just can't. So and almost everybody wants a full life. Now, addiction is an impaired attempt to have the life we're made to have without having to pay the price of living fully. Okay? Now, addiction is an impaired attempt to have the full life we wanna have without having to pay the price. What's the price of living fully? Feeling fully. Yeah. Feeling fully. That's the price of living fully. You wanna live fully? Feel fully. Okay. And of course, that's just the doorway. That's not the end of it. That's the beginning of feeling fully.

This is Stephen James, the executive director of Sage Hill Counseling. Thanks for listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. Sometimes in life, we get stuck or blocked or reach an impasse. At times like these, an intensive short term therapy could help you overcome what's keeping you from the growth and changes you desire. At Sage Hill Counseling, we offer therapeutic incentives to help couples gain new momentum in their recovery process. If you wanna find out more, please visit sagehillcounseling.com.