Step 6 and 7 - Humbly Asked

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

You're listening to the Sage Show podcast on addiction with Dr. Chip Dodd and Phil Herndon. This is a new weekly podcast recorded at the Center for Professional Excellence. Hey, everybody. Welcome back in to the Sage Hill podcast. This is Phil Herndon along with Chip Dodd. Hello, Chip. Hey, Phil. Good morning. We're, yeah. It is morning, isn't it? It's usually afternoon. It's, it's still morning here on a Friday morning here in cold Murfreesboro. I've been doing a series on the steps. And, last time we did a fifth step, so I guess we'll probably better do sixth and the seventh today. You you up for that? I am. Yeah. You had a long morning already. Well, you're practicing counting. I I like that. Yeah. Oh, I'd go all the way to ten. That was reminding me of a story.

I know what you're talking about. Yeah. The principal. And then the second grade goes to the third grade, and the third grade goes to the fourth grade. And the teacher said, listen to the principal go all the way through high school. So yeah. Yeah, you reminded me of He went through 12 like we're gonna do. That's right. So to the steps. And, you know, last time we talked about how we're really stepping off into territory, and so we're stick step to sixth step today. Regis way we're entirely ready to have God remove all the defects of character, all these defects of character. And so we, people familiar with the big book and and 12 step recovery, particularly AA, know that this is a step that many have said that, you know, this separates the men from the boys. So this is Have we read seven too also rather? Read step seven? Yes. Because six and seven are so I mean, do you so tied together.

I mean, they're all tied together, but, I mean, six and seven seems to be very Yeah. Yeah. Seven step just says, you know, based on the preparation of step six being entirely ready, step seven is when we, there's a keyword in there, we humbly ask God Yeah. To remove our shortcomings and character defects. So, yeah, so those two for sure go together. So step six, we're entirely ready. Step seven, we're humbly asking for something. Yeah. Hey. When you talk about it's like, what what what would you say what do you talk about related to entirely ready? Where do you go personally with entirely ready? Because it's not just one and done. Yeah. It's continuous. Which because, you know, when we get to the like, you've talked so often about all 12 steps are tied together tied together, and we're doing we're doing one, two, and three every time we do 10. Do you know? Mhmm. Ten's a combination a growth combination, acorn to oak tree. So when entirely ready, what happens for you in entirely ready?

Emotionally, fear. It's so scary. Wait a minute. Entirely, I mean, I'm ready pretty much. Yeah. But that's not entirely. Right. You know? Uh-huh. So, yeah, fear for sure. And then mentally, it it really does in my fear. It really does literally take me back to first step territory. Like, okay. Entirely ready means I gotta be in surrender Yeah. Or I'm not entirely ready if I'm not making an admission of my great powerlessness. Mhmm. And if I'm not in submission to a God who can restore me to sanity, if I've not turned my life over to him, if I haven't done a thorough, fearless moral searching in searching fearless moral inventory, of those things and then told another human being about it, then I'm not entirely ready. Yeah. You know, I I too William,

youngest son, in fact, it's it's interesting. Just today, he's he's taking an exam, law school exam. It's his fourth one, of six. He's got a really heavy load this time. And, he he's told me about his preparation. He said, you know, dad, I I he was headed over to the the school. I I know the material. I prepared. I'm I'm I'm ready to go. I I possibly could make one of the highest grades in the class. I could also make a b. That's true. And so and he literally was describing to me the, entirely ready. Uh-huh. Though, I mean, I brought everything I've got to this situation. I've given everything I have, and we all know that there's always more. You know what I'm saying? We we there's always more. Every time I I I do a recognition of powerlessness, and you know, you and I both know that as as powerlessness that we admit powerlessness over x, that that x ultimately if we really find the freedom that that that the process is made to give us, and I mean the process bigger than the process, God owns it Mhmm. That we're admitting powerlessness over life. Do you know? That we're a living, breathing serenity prayer. So Yes. To be entirely ready means prepared. And, also, I always think of, Daniel. It's I always think of him as a resolved person. He's the guy that Daniel and the lions then, Daniel that stood up to Nebuchadnezzar. They told him not to stop praying, to stop getting on his knees, to stop giving himself to his god, but to worship something else. Well, Daniel was resolved. He he could not do otherwise. He couldn't get away from how he was made and who he was made to be and whose he was made to be. He was already sold out as a like, this is the way, the truth, and the life. I can't do otherwise. So I think I'm entirely ready. He's prepared and then resolved. Mhmm. He would not stop getting on his knees, and and and he was still sent to the lines then because he was resolved. But his resolution, let him what prepared him for come what may. Yeah. So I think of being prepared as much as we can be within the context that there's always more. Even as we you know, we did that last podcast about the the recovery is about multiplication and addition Uh-huh. That we're opening a door we've run away from. We've actually gone back to and opened it and found out that we actually have a house with many rooms in it. Mhmm. And we're about unlocking and expanding our experience of ourselves and, hopefully, to move towards the rest of our lives that have have the steps in them. But it's an expansion of ourselves into becoming generative, addition, adding, creatures who can, you know, leave something behind worth keeping instead of destruction and devastation. So, I mean, that's what I think of as, you know, entirely, prepare entirely ready.

Do you know? Some people listen maybe wondering, okay. So what's the difference between, having resolution, being resolved, and just trying hard or self will? You know, it resolve to me is deciding that I am committed in spite of what happens versus trying hard means I'm depending upon myself and my efforts to make something happen. Mhmm. Because the seventh step is is, you know, allowing God in so which is a strange word, but it's about to find out whether or not God can do what what the steps say God can do. Mhmm. That God is actually going to take away, peel away, take off, remove character defects, that that that the scales will be moved off my eyes, that that, that being deceitful and manipulative will will change from being to to trusting and, letting go of control Mhmm. Which means believing that God can. So resolve is preparation for the day. We we we have to decide before we go, so to speak. We don't just let life happen. We decide how we're gonna live Mhmm. As life is happening. Mhmm. And Daniel went to the Lions Den. Whether you believe it literally or it's a extraordinary metaphor, it's still a living, breathing Yeah. Reality metaphor if if it's not real. Mhmm. I happen to believe it's real. Me too. I'm that guy. I mean, I still cannot get away from that the child's imagination of possibilities is more real than the reality of what what adults turn life into. So So anyway, so he was resolved, and he was gonna find out whether or not God was gonna take care of and deliver. Mhmm. And so this this the sixth step to entirely ready means that that come what may, I believe that god will do with me what it what god will. Real quick, I remember I was, in before moving from Dallas to here. Been in recovery for, let's see, about six years. And I openhearted, prayerful, wanted desired to move, had wanted to for years, But in the whole recovery process, surrender and accepting, I remember resolved to make the move to Tennessee, to Murfreesboro. And, I put it in the hands of god and asked god to grow me in the process, to to to give me the passion and wisdom and good decision making and, to cling to the vision until I receive messages or direction otherwise. And I remember when I was in a small group talking about this resolve and going, and I remember I I I became tearful. And I said, if I if god does not let me do this, if God does not bless this effort, if he doesn't move on this, then it it will it will I said, it will, like, kill me. Mhmm. We we it would hurt. And I was tearful. I said, but but the tears came with, but whatever God does, I I will still believe. Mhmm. That was the lion's den. Mhmm. I will be delivered one way or another, but God has already shown me that God is God. So removal of the character defects, sometimes slowly, sometimes fast, but it's an awakening to be able to see ourselves and our need for change. Mhmm. And that that most of the time in that surrender process, we're changing, and people let us know we're doing it by their treatment of us, their sharing with us, their, vulnerability with us, their trusting of us. It's like we don't even know we're different, except we find ourselves wanting to be better and better people and and finding ourselves caring more and more.

We have a lot of people who listen, obviously, who are in recovery, you know, classic or formal recovery, 12 step recovery, who when you say remove our character defects and know exactly what you're talking about, what for those who may not know, what what is it talking about to remove to remove character defect? Now what what does that even to to remove all these defects of character, it says. Do you know what, when we think of defect or, impairment, and we think of disease, the the only way that that disease has meaning is through comparison of something that we call normal. Uh-huh. A a disease, the liver, a disease, the lungs, a disease, the stomach is something that's not functioning or or or or being in action what it's actually made to be. Mhmm. That the healthier the lungs, the deeper the, inhalation, the more room there is to be inspired, breathe into, to have output. You know, the farther I can run, the farther I can swim, the the deeper the oxygen in my blood flow. I mean, it all works together. So in so many ways that we talk about defect, it's about the things that keep us from being fully human. We did a podcast, oh, gosh. I guess it was made three or four times ago, and we talked about unless a seed falls to the ground and dies Mhmm. That that seed is defective. In other words, it's it has not become what the interior world has made. It's made to move beyond the shell. So I think of defects of those things that keep us from coming to normal, of being fully thriving, alive human beings capable of caring because we've been cared about, which means we got open enough and vulnerable enough to be touched by others and god so that we're awakened to how we're created, capable of caring, that we we develop consciousness of our human being, a likeness. It's not that we're different from others. We're the same as everyone else. Mhmm. And then that turns into conscience. Since I'm alike everyone else, what will hurt me will probably hurt you. So all of a sudden, we're involved in this changeover doing unto others is is we would have them do unto to us. Mhmm. And then that conscience allows us to have this extraordinary thing called full fully alive empathy, which lets us live fully as normal human beings, not bigger than we are, not less than we are, to walk humbly with our god, and, allows us to live fully, allows us to actually love deeply, more deeply, and then allows us to lead well. Because people follow heart. And that, if we look at life from this is where I was, this is what happened, and this is where I am now, that's a story of going from a shell, an acorn that fell onto the ground and broke open, got involved in the soil, and then has become becoming an oak tree regardless how so the roots are going deep into the soil and growing up. Okay. But what does that what does that really, really, really mean? Well, it means that when we surrender to a growth process, there really is a process. And we're not in control of it, but it grows us. So this you know, it's I guess, Phil, it's it ends up being a mystery that we can't define. We just know it works. Mhmm. So but, anyway, the defect is coming back to normal, coming back to regular, coming back to daily life, coming back to never gonna be superior, coming back to also never gonna be inferior, coming back to, internal locus of control, increased tolerance for frustration versus an external locus of control and living in desperation and impatience. So and and then lastly, normal, doesn't mean we're defective, but normal does mean that we live in something that is also broken, that the heart is made to be inspired beyond what can happen in the reality of this life. So returning to normal also is is returning to finitude. We're finite. Mhmm. Returning to normal means also the capacity to grieve and the capacity to celebrate. Being fully human Mhmm. Is the expansion of us living between one and ten, which really does you know, that god is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves, that we are being made fully human. The shock and the amazement of just being human and makes room for god to just be god, which really does prepare us with a level of sensitivity. You know, we talk about eight, nine, and 10, eleven, and twelve. I mean, it gets us ready to really move into,

really joining the human being experience. I mean, sorrow. When you were talking about empathy while ago, you know, about around humility, that's a natural almost in I guess it is an intuitive bridge from six to seven because the the seventh step begins with this idea of how we humbly ask him Yeah. To remove our to remove our shortcomings. We don't we don't demand it. We don't head in hand, snivelly Yeah. Beg. Stop begging. We humbly ask him to do that. So there's almost like a the seventh step, if you look at it backward, if you read the seventh step and then look back at what the sixth step says that well, of course. Of course, the six step leads to this. Yeah. You know, I'm I'm ready for this, and then so what's the next step? I step off into this territory of with that humility, being conscious and having a conscience and having empathy for the human condition, including my own. Yeah. Then the next logical step intuitive step is I humbly ask him, please remove these things Yeah. That remove these things that block me from my recognition of my own finitude, that bring me back to normal, how humans are made to to to live. Yeah.

Phil, that reminds me of the, one of the Jesus stories. There's a a, somehow a group of people. It's a poser versus a person who's humbly asking. Mhmm. And the Pharisee is represented as sort of the poser. And and don't you know that in our past, we were all about looking a certain way, posing a certain way, performing enough so that we could get the get the prize? Yeah. And, if we could get enough prizes, then we would not feel this disease Yeah. Within us. We would we would feel okay. Because we spend our lives comparing our outsides our insides to other people's outsides. We always wound up less than Yeah. You know, or temporarily superior to. Sure. You know, but we're always beating people or losing to people. Uh-huh. But the story, Jesus says, you know, who will receive the most is what the story is about. Who will who will get what they're asking for? And he says the Pharisee comes in and talks about all that he has done and then offers up some kind of minimal sacrifice. And then the publican, or so the tax collector comes in comes into the back of the assembly of some sort and says, you know, mercy upon me. Please do for me. I don't have anything to offer. Mhmm. And when I think of of humbly, I think of it's not begging, but it's truth telling. Yeah. I'm made out of dirt. Yeah. And I I I somehow have a sense within me that it's not garbage dirt, but stardust, divine dirt, because this hope within me, I'm made for more, and yet where is it? Mhmm. Is the question. And and it if it's here and I've already gotten some security from these other steps that there's more to this than I ever dreamed possible, I'm ready for it. So give it to me. Now we we keep on talking about a person could wind up going, but how? How? How? Like, what do I do? Well, we're we're saying what to do, but the problem with that is it's not an equation that lends itself to an exact number. There really is a very real process. We surrender to it. When we talk about surrendering to it, we mean giving ourselves to the results that come to us that we're not in control of. Because people say, gosh, you know, if I ever stop cry start crying. See, sadness has its own course. Right? Mhmm. It has a process. A a cut a cut has its own process of healing. It is a process. We have to surrender to the process of letting a cut heal. Mhmm. We can't make it automatically seal. But there's a the bleeding stops, coagulation, the skin regenerates, it comes back together, it sticks together some miraculous way, it grows back together Mhmm. Creates a temporary scar. Some of them fade, some of them don't, but it is a regeneration that we don't do. We prepare. We're entirely we're entirely prepared for that regeneration to occur, but we don't do it. People say, if I start crying or grieving, I'm afraid I'll never stop. Well, the truth is once the tears start, they have their own course. Yeah. You can't cry forever anymore than you could stay drunk forever. Sooner or later, you pass out, go to sleep, and wake up again. Right. Throw up or whatever. So we start our tears, and sooner or later, they well, they run dry, and we end up going to sleep, or we end up going taking a shower, or we we we we eat ice cream and and and, sit there and eat ice cream and watch television, and then they'll hit us again and we'll start crying again. Or Mhmm. Or we'll we'll we'll get up and go to work because we need a break from our tears. There's a process. And the tears will actually have their own course. Our job is to let ourselves have them Yeah. Which is becoming entirely prepared Mhmm. To to risk being human again and seeing if God will start taking action really amazingly in our in our daily lives to do for us what our hopes and desires move us towards and help us be willing to wait. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. And, you know, we kinda start wrapping up this this segment. You know? But god moves on but god moves on that merciful cry out. Yeah. You know, that that God doesn't do much with posers except bring us to brokenness. That's right. For sure. Do you know? And that's, you know, one of the features. Well, we've said it about every one of them, and we'll probably said about the rest. It's gonna come back it it always comes back to the state of a person's heart working through these steps, whether we've talked about humility, we've talked about courage, we've talked about running toward that, even in our fear running toward that, we're most afraid of. We talk about the same thing every time because it comes back to the same thing every time. Yeah. And that question, even that, you know,

is my heart ready? Do do I have I found enough heart? It's like, you know, I don't know, and I don't know till I know. Right. And William said, you know, we'll we'll kinda finish where we started. He said, dad, I'm ready. Mhmm. I'm prepared. I mean, I've I've retained so much of this material. I understand it, and I I I could make the highest grade in the class. And then he said, yeah, I could also make a b. Yes. But you know what? Guess what? There it is. Uh-huh. There it is. I can make the highest graded class or I can make a b. He did not say, I'll make a d. Yeah. And he knows he will not make an f because he's already succeeded. Yeah. You know? So Dissolve. Yeah. And his heart's ready, and he did it, and he gave himself to it. And whatever comes comes. But he won't be a blow of b unless he has strokes sitting there in class. And God, you know you know, our worst nightmares. Of course. Well, guess what?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, great, man. Yeah. We'll stop there for now. We're on to, if my calculations are correct, on to eight next time, maybe? I think so. Okay. Great. Six and seven are so tied together, and you're a great counter. Alright. Well, counting continues. Step eight next time. Thanks again for listening to us. We'll see you next time. Hey, thanks, Phil.