Returning to Yourself

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

You're listening to the Sage Show podcast on addiction with Dr. Chip Dodd and Phil Herndon. This is a new weekly podcast recorded at the Center for Professional Excellence. Hey, everybody. Welcome back in to Sage Hill podcast. This is, Phil Herndon along with Chip Dodd. Hello. Afternoon. Afternoon, Phil. It's afternoon. That's right. Yeah. Here in our, studios, CPE. We, last time we talked a lot about, kind of framing up a real problem called, you know, commonly called burnout, surely just kinda being burn up, kinda, you know, talked about how, burn burn. Yeah. It's burnout when we're really created to burn up Uh-huh. To be to be frankly, maximum benefit. Yeah. Right on. And, maximum service. So we talked about how that really quickly becomes, making a plan, searching for a purpose, and then, finding a passion, and how that just leads to more being burnout. And, so I think we framed it up really well. I still kinda left kinda hanging like, okay. Good. Alright. Good news. You know, plan plan, purpose, passion. So today, we're gonna talk about, really six kinda quick things, that that take a look at how to get,

what do you call it, reoriented Yeah. Absolutely. Truthfully. Get back to Get back to return to. So, let's just go ahead and kick it off. So we we ended up with, like, okay. I'm living this life of, plan, purpose, passion, and it just ain't working. Yeah. So now now what I'm doing here motivate myself. The the tragedy is that it's not really just addiction that takes the professional out of the field or making them continue to look over the fence for that other life. Also, the burnout will will make a person actually leave their calling behind. Mhmm. And while their lives may seem better and be more relieved, they're away from what they think of as the pressure. They've also, left behind a marriage that they were created to stay in or made to stay in. Do you know what I'm saying? Yep. That the solution is often departure when actually it needs to be could be renewal. In fact, I understand on a anecdotal level, in talking to burned out physicians, recovering physicians, and what we think of as just the run of the mill physicians, most of them, many of them are planning on when they can quit within three years after they've actually started, which is which is not about addiction. It's not about burnout. It's not about just, the regular the lack of character or any in the normal physician. It's the the onerous burden and of of being a physician, and at the same time, what society has done to the nobility of the profession in terms of loss of value and respect towards the physician. He he or she is blamed for all kinds of things that they're actually trapped in and powerless over and sometimes even helpless in if they're gonna continue in their call. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do. Yeah. Yeah. So this what we're talking about is is, yes, it's about recovery from addiction or recovery from burnout, but it's also about keeping keeping hold of or keeping alive the the call. So that's what we're here to talk about today, kinda like underneath the underneath the numbers of, assignments and protocols and, regulations and demands. What's happening in the heartbeat of the professional or someone with a call? And we did focus on physicians last time, but Mhmm. Really, anyone with a call, the pastor, the physician, the academician, the person involved in jurisprudence, the inventor, the creator, the entrepreneur who wants to create something, you know, worth people keeping beyond the dollar bill only. Remember, I'm not against the dollar bill. I I I definitely believe that we can and want to and need to make as much money as we can, but money, especially for somebody in a call, is a byproduct of doing what they're made to do. Mhmm. So we we tend to believe that the money will follow. Yeah. But we do have to, you know, take care of ourselves. So Sure. Anyway, that's a bit. But

So let's let's talk about these six things you and I were talking The how tos here today. The how tos. Right? How do I get back to myself? So, this first one, talk about break first word is breaking. Like, for you, that that sounds pretty painful. Yes. It yeah. The and and this this we talked about underneath the numbers. There's not a list that we're about to give a list. But really, let's let's think of those in terms of movements or, sort of the process. K. And and number one is the the breaking and facing. We we really do there really is a thing called denial and the breaking of denial so we can see that there's a real problem that we can't fix in our with in with our in ourselves through intellect, willpower, or morality. Mhmm. We can't make ourselves better. We can't make ourselves smarter. We can't make ourselves stronger because these people already are. So denial breaks. There's an admission that I have a problem that I cannot fix. I'm powerless over it, and without help, I will not get what I need. So breaking and facing is number one. The admission, the powerlessness over this thing, and, my life really is becoming unmanageable. It's, climbing the sand hill that sort of tilts backwards or tilts forward as we climb it. It it it gets higher and higher and more and more impossible to scale the harder and harder we try. So Mhmm. It's about it's about reaching out. Admitting powerlessness is number one. Yeah. That's a how to. That's a thing to do. And, man, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, extraordinary. Yeah. Recognizing that I need help and going to somebody who knows how to help, that's extraordinary. The first beatitude, blessed are those of the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. It clearly states that there is a doorway at the end of our self will. Yeah. And it opens for us to to to step into a new world. And if you've ever

lived the first beatitude, if you've ever walked into an AA meeting or having a cup of coffee and you've broken through and faced what is really true, you know, that that is that is literally and and emotionally and relationally the the first step, breaking and facing. Mhmm. Then, number two is this whole idea. We we dedicated an entire podcast to it, and CPE gals will be very familiar with this whole idea of feeling your feelings, telling the truth, and giving to the process. Yes. Right after the right after that initial breaking and facing comes this one. That that really is that is those three things are the the three three primary tools under which are all kinds of subset of tools. You know, it's like, fill your feelings is a saw, tell the truth is a hammer, and, give yourself to the process is a drill. Mhmm. Well, there are many kinds of saws, many kinds of kinds of many subsets of hammers detailed according to what's needed. Mhmm. But the essential next step when we break and face is to step into created the field. Second beatitude after the blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, is blessed are those who mourn because we've looked at where we've been, what we've done, and what's happened, and it's not working. I'm tired. I'm weary. I'm burdened. I'm lonely. I'm sad. I'm hurting. I'm grieving. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. It's a blessing to those who mourn. It's a natural process. So but feeding your feelings. And, guys, The Voice of the Heart, tons of blogs, tons of, podcasts on feelings, this is really simple three movements. Feel your feelings. Those are emotions. They're energy in motion. They're made to, be used as tools to allow us to, open ourselves back up, to show us around inside ourselves, and also to expand who who we are because we've become very, very, very constricted. We've become emotionally constricted through addiction, burnout, or just simply just absolutely haven't ignored our hearts for a long period of time just trying to fit in. And then, also telling the truth is, telling the truth about what's happening inside of us and then giving ourselves to the process. And we talk all the time that God owns the process. Giving yourself to the process means the process of living life on life's terms. So feel your feelings, tell the truth, give yourself to the process of living life. Yeah. Yeah. So that's sort of number two. Yeah. Break in face, feel, tell the truth, give to the process. Number two. Yes.

You know, there I believe it's Phillips Brooks that said this, moving on to number three. He said that preaching is really truth poured through personality. I believe it was him that said that. And then, you know, as we fill feelings, tell the truth, give it to the process, we we do that. The third one is doing all of that through your story, knowing where you came from, like, pouring all of that through who you are, who you've how you've been molded and influenced and impacted. Isn't that something to say? This isn't just these aren't just general principles. These are accurate principles applied to what's most interesting to us, whether we face it or not, which is our own lives. I mean, we we we've got to learn to pray for ourselves. We've got to learn to listen how we talk to ourselves, and we need to be able to remember, the story of our lives because that's what we've been living in the skin of our experiences. You know? So we've got to to and it's amazing how when we feel our feelings, it also takes us into the area of the brain or into the territory of where we store our stories. Long term memories in the limbic system. The feelings and the long term memories are sort of, like, entwined in the limbic system. So when we start to feel our feelings, tell the truth, and get to the process, we're doing it through the filter or through the lens ex of our own experiences. We we tell our story and the feelings that go with it. Even in treatment, one of the things we do to initiate the return to who I am And for those with a call, the return to the call to live it wiser, more deeply, and and and, more expertly. But, telling your story and the feelings go with it. You actually report much of what you have forgotten. You go discover much of what you've suppressed, and you express so much of what you thought did not matter because intellect, self will, and moral compunction or perfectionism has pushed away the inconveniences of of your whole life. Yeah. So the your story and the feelings that go with it are hugely instrumental to me. That's the that's the, sort of, the cross point or the crux of the matter to Mhmm. That because our own stories set us up to awaken to what's next and to what we want to do next, to where we're headed next. Mhmm. If you don't know your feelings, you don't know where you are. And if you don't know where you are, then anybody can take you where they want you to go instead of where you're made to go. Which is

tied on to what we're talking about, coming back to the self. Yeah. Getting yourself back. Yes. Which is self identity, self, capacity to explore, and self express. You know, the six freedoms we talk about, and there's a blog on six freedoms you can look up if you wish. Mhmm. So through our own story, we fill our feelings, tell the truth, give it to the process through our own story as a result of our coming out of breaking and facing, as we called it earlier, to the fourth part having to do with, gaining confidence in in the process of recovery. Like, hey. This I'm getting my my feet under me and kind of this movement from outward compliance or just following the rules into real surrender. Oh, that's a big one. Yeah. It's huge.

So breaking and facing, feel your feelings, tell the truth, give to the process is number two. Number three is is filtered through all of that filtered through your own story. And number four is that we see the crux of the matter. There there is a sort of a product that comes out of those first three and that the person begins to gain confidence, trust in the process of recovery. And confidence, literally means loyalty with, that I I believe in and trust that thing, place, person, experience. Remember in the movie Braveheart, it had it was tragic, but, William Wallace had so much confidence that Robert Bruce was who he knew him to be, who he thought he was, that he said he'll be here. He'll be here. Now he wasn't. Mhmm. But he had he had that kind of he had that confidence and and trust. Even in the, book of Jeremiah, it's it's blessed is the person who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in God. Their hearts are rooted. It it refers to through that confidence, the heart is rooted. So a person at this point, through those first three things, number four, they literally have moved from compliance, sort of just doing what they're told, to heart involvement, surrender. In other words, rendering over that which I've hidden or taken. Surrender doesn't mean defeat. Surrender really means to rejoin. We're rejoining relationship with being known, and we know that good things happen to people who are known Yeah. From the inside out because they're available for connection, and connection is the nutrition that gives us strength in this life. Mhmm. So we move from, compliance to surrender

through those first three movements. So that's number four. Yeah. Number four. And then which that leads to or opens a gate to, this desire to like, I really want to do good. Having established these kind of first four, I'm confident in my recovery. I live with fidelity, moving from just compliance. Because professional people, we know people that bring their heart to things, we're really good at at doing what we're told. Get in line, go do this next, get this degree, do this accomplishment, and get it done. Yeah. That that that that's one thing that makes the person who's a professional in these programs do extremely well and miss the whole thing. You're right. Or or have the ability once they've broken and facing, feeling, and and filtering through their story, and then start in the process of surrender. These guys literally start to explode with, frankly put, movement and productivity and discovery. It's amazing. Really amazing. Really is. And and and really fill a short period of time. Now we say short period of time, ninety days, but, there's scientific evidence to say that the longer the treatment, the better the results. Mhmm. Do you know? Because it takes time, especially with people who are so smart, to come to believe and to come to trust again. Mhmm. Exactly right.

So the fifth one growing out of all of that, which is a huge deal, is this a real a real, live desire, not just it's a good idea, not just oh, maybe, but a real, live desire to, to want to do good, which walks into this territory of gratitude, an arousal of gratitude you've called it before. You know, yes. And so number five is that through this process of the first four, number five is that we really have reawakened through being through being given something that we've received. We really do awaken to, a desire for action towards the good. In other words, we really do desire to be good people. We just simply want to be good people. I mean, it's and so simply put, but it's I don't know words that that that simply make it any more understandable. And it's it's it's so basic because, you know, you've heard so many coaches when when when kids, on teams lose games. They they the coach says you didn't want it, or you didn't care, or you weren't trying. I don't know anybody who goes out onto the into the arena and and goes out there and doesn't care. Even from the standpoint of just complete selfishness, they care for their own face. They care for their own, what people are gonna say about them. So it's like when coaches say that, it's like kids' hearts desire to matter, to belong. They really want to do good, and they want to be good people. And chil whose children have a sensitivity to that. Now what's amazing is Jesus, you know, the disciples said, Jesus, who's the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And he got a child in, Matthew eighteen two and three. He got a child in front of him and said said, unless you change, which we cannot make ourselves do, and become, and that only occurs through being revealed, but in other words, we can't change ourselves. We have to surrender to change, and that change promises to make us become. He said, Unless you change and become like one of these, referring to a child, you cannot enter into the kingdom of heaven. He's describing having faith in the process, and that is wanting to do good. Yes. And we can't make ourselves do it. I'm telling you, it happens for us. Mhmm. So the crux is where you get to number, three, but then the crux is that we start to gain confidence, number four, and we start to truly desire to do good, which finally takes number six. I mean, and the field this really happens Yeah. You know, look. If if a person gets a cut and they are they are reasonably normal human, I mean, they've they've eaten decently, they've got water in them, okay? Mhmm. The blood coagulates. The skin grows back together. A scar forms I mean, a scab forms that finally sloughs off, scratches off, or washes off, which becomes a scar of light or noticeable or not. And then that scar finally, sometimes, which simply fades away, it's almost unnoticeable. Mhmm. And a lot of times, the skin where there was a cut is stronger than the skin, before it. So the the there's a process. I mean, there's a process. There's a process. And, a person who gets a cut who attends to the pain of the cut, the process works. So this really is happening. We've seen it for for, I wanna say, a hundred years, but, you know, we've seen it in multiple, multiple, multiple ways. So that's number five. And we'll repeat all six of these, Phil, very briefly, as we close. Yeah.

So last one or at least of the six, this arousal of gratitude is we've called it is, kinda turns into or leads into an attitude of humility. And, I guess the the major the primary marker being, willingness to seek forgiveness. Yes. And And the other the number six that this desire to be a good person really, arouses, the the the humility. The blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth after we've mourned, after we've rediscovered ourselves as human. Numbers of times I've heard doctors say, I really didn't grasp what it was like to be a physician until I became a patient. And when they became a patient, they saw how much they as a physician were missing. Okay? So this experiencing life on life's terms, surrendering to the process of life, it it we become human all over again. We're not God. We can't be God, and, we we really don't wanna take the place of God. So we really move from humility that that has gratitude in it to the capacity to be forgiveness seeking, to to to be more invested in living fully than being right, more invested in being good than proving ourselves to others or getting others, applause. We've given up the applause to have our life and wind up often being surprised by other people's gratitude for us being available to to them because we're simply living Mhmm. Simply living. And it it always reminds me of, Micah six eight. This humility, is, lifelong and daily. Micah six:eight, the the prophet or the people were saying, what does the Lord require of you? Or the prophet was saying, what does the Lord require of you? And the prophet answers through God. He says to seek justice, to seek doing right, take right action, to love mercy, remembering that you want to receive what you also need to give, and you need to be given what what you want to receive. That Mhmm. That, I'm always in need of being remembered that I'm human. I'm made out of dust. And then finally, walk humbly with your God. And that is the only way I believe that a person can ever walk humbly is to know that I am being parented, by a parent. I am an emissary of a king. I am a servant to a master. I mean, you know, we go through all these things. It's like like the the George Washington's horse, he loved greatly, because George Washington's horse carried him into and through battle after battle after battle, you know? Mhmm. And the horse often saved him. Yeah. So and and that's called meekness, Mhmm. Being able to be ridden, so to speak. So and then we we live. I mean, six movements that are occurring through this, we return to our passion. A willingness to be in pain, capacity to care about something beyond our own comfort. We're doing that for the purpose, if nothing else, the purpose of love. And then the plan is we want more in life than we'll ever get to, and we know that we're participating in life, but we're not the answer to life. And so our plan is is God sized. We want to live fully, love deeply, and lead well a life worth people, taking from or maybe even copying, not imitating, but saying, I'm attracted to that, and I wanna go there. So we become people who can leave something behind

over time. That's right. So those are the six things. Six things. We run through them. To return to passion, purpose, and plan. To leave behind self motivation, trying to find a purpose so I can fulfill or excuse me, making a plan, trying to find a purpose, and then motivating myself to get it done. Right. That's that's about just making money, which ain't a bad thing. Okay. I I like money a lot. I'm just saying it's just about making money, which is a lust. It's just lust. Not enough to have a life. Yeah. So breaking and and facing, as you said, breaking through denial, facing life, and how to do that, feeling our feelings, telling the truth, giving to the process of living. Gotta be poured through our own story, number three, which leads to number four, gaining just a real confidence in the process of recovery and moving from outward compliance to true surrender, practice those things of what it really means to live among other people, to rouse his gratitude, and then we get to, walk in this attitude of humility. Be willing to seek forgiveness by the other side. Yeah, that's freedom.

Freedom pressures off in so many ways. So So six real movements, not formula, not lists, not bullet points, movements. But six of them, so it's a list if you can wanna follow it. If you want a list. Alright. Well, hey, y'all. Thank you very much for listening, and, look forward to next time. Thanks, Phil. Thank you, Chip.