How to Stay Present

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

This podcast is brought to you by Sage Hill, a social impact organization. Our mission is to help people be who they're made to be so that they can do what they're made to do. Find more resources to live fully, love deeply, and lead well at sagehillresources.com. Hi. This is Stephen James, the executive director of SAGEO Counseling. I'm Chibdad and I sit down today to talk about the interweaving of the past and present and future and maybe the possibility that we're all, made to live in all three of those, but it's our feelings that'll call us into the present and to in order to embrace all of those. If you wanna know more about Sage Hill, go to sagehillcounseling.com. Lots of resources there to help you. And then if you wanna find out more about what Chip's doing, please visit chipdodd.com. And I wanna remind you that Chip and I have a new book coming out in August on addiction called Hope in the Age of Addiction. It's a really important book that that there's a lot of, the thinking, interweaving, what's new in neuroscience and addiction treatment, and and what the stuff that Chip's been working on for, you know, thirty, forty years now in some ways about addiction recovery and the power of the spiritual root system in that. So if you wanna go ahead and preorder that on Amazon, it's Hope in the Age of Addiction by Chip Dodd and Stephen James. Enjoy this conversation with Chip and I. I hey, Chip. Hey, Stephen.

Hey. How you doing? I'm good. How are you doing today? Doing well. Thank you. We're we're doing podcast through Zoom. Podcast through the Zoomosphere. And the interwebs. And I'm quickly learning. I used to be pretty techno technologically savvy, and I I've just lost it. I'm losing my ability to do technology. What do you mean? Because that that that renders me absolutely hopeless. Please. Well, I'm I feel inept at it. Like, it's just changed, and you used to be able to, like, cook stuff up and do stuff and make things work, and it's not as easy for me anymore. Like, I don't know if the technology's changed or I've changed or not changed with it or something. Yeah. I don't know. I think I need to get a Tesla.

Yeah. That would that will help. I think you need to get a Tesla too. Or I I'm not gonna get a Tesla, but I want one. Tesla Tesla fixes lots of things. It does, doesn't it? Yes. It it will it's it I think you could go a cheaper route. Just eat an apple pie, a whole one. Oh, amen to that. Yeah. Hey, I I've been working on this idea that I would this is kind of like us just on the fly talking about something new, a new idea I have. It's probably not new. There's probably somebody who listens to this and sends an email saying, oh, you're talking about x y z. You know? Yeah. But it it is kinda cool that you thought of it, you know, without it. So you know? Yeah. So I've been thinking that that we we as people have a natural orientation to one of three things of, like, making sense of the world. Right? That that we're either past oriented, present oriented, or future oriented. Yeah. And I definitely think I'm future oriented. You know? Uh-huh. And so I've been and I think I know some people who are real present oriented. And I know some people who are I know a couple people that are super past oriented. And so, like and there's probably healthy versions of that and impaired versions of that. Like, I know for me, being present oriented, like, I would dream and I envision, and then I could, like, fantasize and, like, make up and, you know, like and then be anxious too. You you could use your orientation

to escape Yes. To dream, to plan, to imagine, and to wreck yourself. Yes. Right. Yeah. Like, when technology leaves you a little farther behind, you're gonna be left out. Yeah. Yes. So your future orientation can leave you extremely anxious. Yes. It can. And then I know people who are, like, great historians and, like, deep learners and analyzers, and they're super historically oriented. Yeah. You know? Like, they they're always contextualizing, studying, reflecting, like and they have an orientation to the past, I think. You know? Let's talk let's and but and so the yeah. Go ahead. Let's let's talk about that that from two different viewpoints. K. Okay? One is let's look at it from the standpoint of self preservation. And then You know, let me interrupt you first because this reminds me of. No? Because this this reminds me of you and I sitting around a campfire just talking about something. Like,

it's kinda fun. Hey. Let's do that. I would really I I have not done that with you in a long time. I invited you up, but you were riding bicycles. Yes, sir. Old man's out on the bike. Okay. That's awesome. So two two okay. So one is what? It was, you mean bicycle you mean, like, a motorcycle? No. You mean bicycle. You mean like bicycles. High terrain high terrain motors. No. Hey. It's about bicycle. Let's look at this from the standpoint if unless you can't tolerate it. I might not. Yeah. No. Exactly. Let's because you you're gonna you're gonna just jump all over me on it. But, what if what if, like, we look at for a standpoint of self preservation and then from the context of self conservation? Okay. And what what I mean is so let's look at it. Like, self preservation is is almost like how to protect myself, and self conservation is is how to, build something worth keeping, to conserve, you know, to to value, to keep, to to,

Yeah. Yeah. So I would think, certainly, somebody who is oriented in the past is a conservationist By by just No. No. No. I'm saying self conservation. Could be let's save this for the future too. So let's look at the self because people think in duality so much. Let's look at this positive, negative. I hate to do that, but because both of them have their benefits. Oh, impaired and and healthy. Yeah. Let's call it, like, you know, one step removed from being really where you're made to be or something. With self preservation. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. Made to be and then being self protective. Because you said it yourself, like, you know, your future when you start picturing a vision, and I've seen you, hey. You know what? We could do this and you and you start and then you start planning it and then you start implementing it and then before you know it, we've got sachio training going. Right? And then, you know, you you you say, hey. We can pour the spiritual root system chip. You've got this. You can bring this. You can do this. Man, this is so great, Steve. I've been wanting to do this so long, looking at the future and those structures and and substances and everything like that. So that's self conservationist. This is worth doing, worth saving, worth keeping, worth guiding. So you're using you like, your future orientation is directly connected to you really being yourself. Right? And the self preservation when the anxiety kicks in and you go off in the fantasy world because I don't like where I'm living.

But still Zealand. Like, I dreamed about I got the whole family convinced we're moving to New Zealand on Saturday because New Zealand is, like, awesome. I've never been there, but I am so already living in New Zealand. Well, yes. Where Lord of the Rings and Everything Magical happens. That was filmed there. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No mass shootings there. Oh, wait a minute. Never mind. Yeah. You know, I'm kidding. So so so sometimes you you do do self preservation. The future is a place to get away. And so you know what? And I will So you think about okay. Let's turn that then on, like, a person who's present oriented. Well, con a conservationist, like, thing. What would that be like about being present? Well, you know what's so cool? It's like,

some and there again, that that staying in the present says, hey, man. Let go let go of what was. Let's live what is. You know, that's like, hey. Don't pay attention to what just happened. Forget about it. That's self preservation. And self conservation, you know, my my mother, was was was one of the gifts that she had was her capacity to actually live in the present and and, you know, she really could bring things to where they were and all of a sudden she'd say, you know, these clouds, this breeze, this summer day, these blackberries, this these these look at the mockingbird, the heron over there. And she could orient us, me, herself into where she was living right then in terms of letting herself have that experience. And at the same time, she could use the present to avoid tomorrow's coming and yesterday happened and both of them impact us. You know? So and so there's that self preservation. But she was a present oriented human. And then I know I know some people like, I mean, the past is their pain. And yet the past is the treasure that has full of 10,000 stories to be to be given over so we can cling to everything valuable that was ancient. So, I mean, I just love what I just love that you've you've been thinking this because some people are oriented more. My mother clearly was more oriented to the present. Yeah. And and I am I am I am I am I'm future and past. I think and you I mean, what what do you think? I mean, you've known me a long time.

Man, really? I think you're past oriented. I really do. I think I think there's a like, your, like, true sense of nostalgia and, like, in not a bad way, like, sentimentality and, like, something like that. Is not a good word. Well, I've been in in a good way. Yeah. I mean, this, sensitivity. Yeah. Remembering. Yeah. Remembering. Like, there's something that like, even, like you know, I think the stuff that you built and created and restoring, like, you would rather build something new out of old things because they have a story to them Yeah. Then build something new. Right? Yeah. You know what? And even as you say that, that touches me because it's weird. Like, even as you said that, I'm kinda like I'm kinda settling down going, yeah. And there's pain in it. Yeah. Because Yeah. Settling into to a building from the past, repurposing what's been pitched or lost or given over, it also has and the people who had it used it are gone or you know, this thing is gonna be forgotten that once was you know what? I think you're on the side.

Yeah. True. True. I think I think we're made to live in all three. I think maturity, emotional, spiritual maturity allows us to move through all three. Mhmm. Right? Yes. But, you know and then I started thinking, like, so if we all have a a an orientation, starting place position in one of those things Uh-huh. Then, like, we're all rooted in either faith, orientation in the past, hope orientation in the future, or love orientation to the present. Right? Like, there is there's this movement of kinda how do I make sense of things, where do I start, and then not only where do I start, but where do I need to grow and go? Like, I'm growing in like, I got the future down, man. I got I got it. I got dreaming and painting and wondering, and I got all that down. And I'm learning how to just live even, like, in small ways. Just observe the boundaries other people put in my life or that I've asked to submit to and just stay within them just for a little bit. Right? Like, I got they're they're in the coronavirus COVID thing. I got a Peloton bike. You know about the Peloton bikes?

Yes. And yeah. I I was making sure. What a Peloton is? A Peloton. Yeah. A rebounder. It's what we used to call a trampoline. A trampoline. Yeah. And a and a Peloton is a stationary bike. Yes. A stationary bike. So I got this stationary bike and but they have these classes, and the instructors say, like, here's where you're supposed to be and here and in my past, I would say, well, that's the minimum. I've gotta be outside of that. And I would be like like, I got a whole history of, like, making myself sick and injured and doing exercise. Right? Because it's like I've gotta Yeah. I've seen you do it over and over. You put yourself in the hospital with the lung thing, being over. So yeah. And so this was like, I'm just gonna get on this thing, and I'm just gonna do what this person says for a little bit of time every day. Right? And it's so hard for me not to crank the wheel, not to go hard. And that's, like, that's where this idea of, like, the future orientation, like this like, oh, but there's this it could be this. You know? And it's beautiful, but it's also, like, there's the spiritual discipline of just learning to stay in this one thing for now. You know, as as you say that,

as you say that, it it I believe that the most difficult place to live is in the present. Like, stay where you are and attend to where you're living. And we are created for the future, and we are created to experience and learn from the past for the future's sake and so on. But I think living where you are is the hardest place there is. And at the same time, as soon as you live where you are, it's already gone. I mean, I get that. But I mean Lost. Yeah. Enjoy. Time to and I think the present is a is actually a place to experience the gifts of what's around the present meal, the present run, the present Peloton ex exercise, the present mockingbird, the present clouds, the present rain. You know? Because this too shall pass. The present will go away. But can we take everything we need related to what we found out beforehand we're gonna need and also let that take us into the future we we we we're made to live? So I think the present is the hardest place to stay, but the hardest place to let ourselves experience. And I think if a person can't do feelings, they can't do in the present at all. And I think that's where the past and the future become self preservation. In other words, escape escape hatches to get away from where we are. You know?

Yeah. I do know. I've spent a lifetime doing that, so I do know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great, Chip. Well, thanks, man. That was awesome. Thanks. It's good to talk to you. Good to see you. Good to good to Zoom the video today. Hopefully, I'll, Zoomafoo. Zoomavoomoo. Zoom Zoomophobia. I've got Zoomophobia. I got antis I hate Zoom. Sorry. Don't get me started on Zoom. You know what? Hopefully, I'll see you soon. I feel my insides working so hard in in these Zoom calls. I'm working so hard. Hey. Do you know what? I have found myself as we get off, I have found myself literally leaning up on the screen, leaning up into the screen, trying to get through the screens for that that that connection. Yeah. Me too. And then we have to Hey.

Yes. Alright, man. Alright. You take care. Bye bye, Stephen. Hey. Thanks for listening to Sage Hill's Live Fully podcast with Chip Dodd and Stephen James. For more in-depth learning and, growth for yourself, please go to chipdodd.com and check out the How to Live podcast where Chip spends time exploring issues of the heart and what does it mean to, live fully and be yourself and give yourself and grow yourself and just be yourself here on Earth. This podcast is brought to you by Sage Hill, a social impact organization. Our mission is to help people be who they're made to be so that they can do what they're made to do. Find more resources to live fully, love deeply, and lead well at sagehillresources.com.