The Map of Freedom, Part 2

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

You're listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. Sage Hill is a social impact organization that helps people see who they are made to be so they can do what they're made to do. The following podcast was recorded at this year's Sage Hill training, an in-depth experiential training that helps people bring their heart to what they are called to do. To learn more, you can visit sagehilltraining.com. And when I say legacy, you lead people with the faith that we are born with to grow in relationship with God. You leave people with the courage that they came with, which is a full hearted participation. Remember, faith is a a child, a little infant, is sure of what she hopes for and certain of what she does not see. Courage, a full hearted participation. There's no other choice. Powerlessness is beautiful. It's gutsy. And then work. Now work, children love to work. I've said it so many times, hands, head, and heart are involved in life. They're building their careers if they're accessed to keep heart in their hands and head. They're building their careers. So do you get legacy? Does everybody want legacy? Do you want those two little girls you will never know to have the life with that mother that she has and you don't know her either? You don't know her. Do you want that? Do you? Yeah. Well, then you've extended way past yourself because your name is forgotten unless it's written on some bible bible like aunt Kristen. Like, who's aunt Kristen? I don't know. Do you see? That's what I mean. The true legacy is that which you're after because you pursued your own life to live it to the fullest with integrity, intimacy, all these things we're gonna touch base on. And then you died, But you left that which can be built on and continued behind. It's like, that is so cool. Everybody wants it, but here's how to get it. I'm a tell you how to get it. Alright? Now remember what addiction is. We started way back in, August. Addiction is not a badness. Addiction is really just kind of a it's a a giving up that becomes a habitual. K. Addiction is an impaired attempt to have full life without paying the price of feeling fully. Everybody here in this room knows more about what that means today than you did in August, even if you were recovering addict when you walked in. Say yes to that even though you're recovering and you came in. This is richer and fuller than it was. Because this is not just about saying no to what was harming you. It's about saying yes to how you're made. There are two powerlessnesses that we've talked about that we all end up needing to come to. The powerlessness of admission that something's got a hold of me that is harming me. There's that powerlessness that we have to come to admitting, whether it's pride, control, drugs, alcohol, sex, work, gambling, running. You see? Some type of control addiction, even if your control addiction is being addicted to the person who's addicted to something else. So we have to come to a place of admitting powerlessness over something that's harming us. Then we have to admit powerless over something that will help us that we have contempt towards. What is it that we ultimately really have contempt towards? Needing, feeling, vulnerability, ourselves, our condition, our inability to have perfection, our love, our capacity not stop loving. How many of you have ever thought of yourselves as stupid for loving someone? Like, you that is so stupid for you to love that person. You know what I'm saying? That's what that's what we have contempt towards. So we have to admit powerlessness over that which harms us, and then we get to we don't know it yet, but we get to admit powerlessness over how we're made. So we get to return to how we were created. Now based upon what I've said, the three characteristics of a a child, when you admit powerlessness over how you're made, what you're returning to is faith, courage, and work. You're returning to hope and a vision for your life. You're returning to participating in your life with your heart again, and you're returning to giving yourself to life, hands, head, and heart. You probably won't work for a factory unless you just want to. You just won't be on the assembly line unless it really matters to you. So let's go through this again. Remember some from some time ago, this is a little parenthetical on the side. The answer to life is a question, and the question is, do you like me? I like you, circle yes or no. Your capacity to hear no is what's gonna give you a full capacity to live your life, And your ability to receive yes is gonna bless you beyond what you could ever imagine. That is the answer to life, and it's a question. Your ability and your comfort with being able to do that. Now for you littlest in here, that's really not the question. I mean, that question's a symbol for the question. Oh, but it has other words in it. Okay? You get what I'm saying? But, ultimately, the question is, do you care? Am I in this with you? And then on and on and on and on and on. Do I matter to you? Do I belong? And if I don't, let me know so I can move on. And if I don't, what it is what is it that's going on with you that's stopping you from being with me? And what is it that's going on with me that's stopping, me from being with you? And how come this isn't working? This leads to all kinds of questions. Now, ultimately, you cannot give your heart to something you're not made to give your heart to. What does that mean about your heart? Let's play for just a minute. You cannot give your heart to something that doesn't really matter to your heart. What does that mean about your heart? It knows something. It knows something. It has something. It has something written on it even that you gotta go find. Got that? But what does it know? The truth. The truth about you and the truth about what you're made to do. It's amazing. Like, you'll be down in an architect's office just drawing plans, just drawing plans left and right. You went to architecture school. You became an architect. It took so much to become one. It's unbelievable. Blood, sweat, and tears. You're sitting there going, I don't like this. It's not the boss. I don't like this. You keep looking out over at the ocean and these boats. And and it's not that you're looking at these boats from the standpoint of wishing you could sail out on the sea and go fishing every day. You're looking at those boats from the standpoint of their shape and their colors. And you're looking at those boats from the standpoint of all these other things. And then someday you realize, you know what? I was made to take people out on boats and show them the construction and the architecture of life on the ocean or something. I mean, it could turn into something else. You follow what I'm saying? Your your heart I know this is out there. Your heart has a sentence written on it that's yours. And as you move into the spiritual root system, it will come up to you. See, it was ten years before I knew that I wanted to do whatever I had to do to help people see who they're made to be so they can do what they're made to do. I was already doing it. I just didn't know what it it was. I didn't know what the sentence was. So, oh, that. That's my work. So, I mean, it's okay if you don't know, and it's better if you do know. It helped direct you. So this admission of powerlessness does not take you to a place in which it's bad. This place of powerlessness takes you to a place where you're gonna get to struggle, and the struggle is going to be the fact that you're willing to be in pain for something that matters to you, and you can't stop it. So you want to leave a legacy? Here's how to do it. Get you. Basic starting out. Get you. Get you means to awaken to simply put for here today, awaken to your feeling, needing, desiring, longing, hoping creature. Create to do one thing in life, which is live fully. And you can't live fully unless you're living fully in relationship with yourselves, others, and God. So it's who are you. Get you. Lay claim to you. Go back and get who you left behind a long time ago because addiction is a rejection of how you're made and who you're made to be. So pay the price. Here's the price of feeling fully. So when you get you, you're going to awaken to your life, your heart, your story. Now your story means where you were, what happened, and what you felt about it. Simplest way I know to put story is a lot of people do story is where you were and what happened. See, that's the feeling world of story. The nonfeeling world of story, they wanna make it really like, you just do that and somehow something happens. No. It's where you were, what happened, and what you feel about it. That's your story. And you've got you've got to be have the language of feelings for that story to happen. So if you get you, you're going to wind up showing your heart because you're made for relationship because you wish to be known. What happens to people who are known? Good things. Good things happen to people who are known. When you get you, you're starting to give up on some rules that you've lived by. You get you, you'll become yourself, and then you will begin to offer you. You'll begin to want people to sort of like know what you know, have what you have, love what you love. You start sharing yourself. And you're not doing it from the standpoint of trying to become somebody. You already are. You're offering to people what they could have that you don't think they do. So this is this is great. This is where you're headed. How do I get there though? Alright? So this is a start, not to finish, but how do I get there? But it's like, I'm you're already in it though. Well, you get there by feeding your feelings. We don't have to go back through that again, do we? Tell me no. Yeah. Hey. Thank thank you, Stephen. I heard. And then you tell the truth about your feelings. And when you tell the truth about your feelings, you don't tell the you don't say I feel that. I feel like you. I just kinda don't you know? And millennialist language is, like, leaves everything to interpretation. Do you know? It's just like, you know, I'm just kinda going, like, somewhere, and it's somewhat times, it's just, like, just doesn't, like, feel right and, you know, and, like, sometimes I'll I wanna be around them and don't. And what do you think? Like, that's not it. Okay? Okay. Now I said millennialist language and, you know okay. We do coach's language. It doesn't matter what you feel. I'm glad we had this conversation. That's a joke. Feel your feelings. Tell the truth about your heart, which means present your struggle. And I don't mean present your mask and your confusion. I mean, present your struggle. And it's like like, you you can have all the feelings at once, and it don't and then it comes down, I don't know what to do. And then give it to God. Put it in the river. When you give it to God or put yourself in the process, you're giving it to God. God owns the process. God invented the river. There is very little difference between the river and god except that god made the river. Knows where it goes, knows where you're going, but you gotta get in it to get there. Now if you give it to God, it means you no longer have to be God. That means you don't have to practice knowing the future to have one. So she's going live today. And God granted us one day at a time so eternity that was in our hearts could be played out. It says, God placed eternity in the hearts of humans, and yet only God knows the beginning from the end. So, therefore, our job is the living. God's job is the beginning and the end. How many of you like that equation? One person. Okay. There's the struggle and there's the question. Hey, do you like me? I don't know if I like you. Or do you like me, God? I like you. Will you circle yes or no? It's been so hard today, God. I'm saying no. You don't like me. Well, you know that God can't not like you, so from what you've learned and taught and can't help but believe. So you gotta ask self a question, who you talking about that think that God don't like you? Who is it you don't who is it you really think don't like you? Whose face are you looking at because it can't be God's? Because when God finished, he said, this is all very good and you are my crowning achievement. I created you to be crowned with glory and honor. That's Psalm eight. I don't think that's a misuse of that. Take a look at it. It's really magnificent. Who about that you would even think of me? You created me to be crowned with glory and honor. That's a quick paraphrase. How many of you have children? And when you look at them, I know you see room for their improvement. I get that. That's your critic. That's your perfectionist. But if you can remember when they were little and when you weren't demanding so much, you could see them as beautiful when they were really at their ugliest. So give it to the process. Let god be god, and you do good at struggling with god. Emmanuel is not god rescues me from it. It's God with us in it. K? Process. He's with us in the process. He does not rescue us from the process. I hate that. Do y'all hate that still? I just hate that. It's like, God. And yet it's astounding how many rescues we get over and over again. And then you get you, become you, give you through and by. Feeding your feelings, telling to, give it to the process, and you will step into passion. A willingness to do whatever you need to do. A willingness to be in pain for something greater than pain. Let me take you just a second. Say blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I've run out of real estate of my own power. I'm I'm defeated. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Like, blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven is like, I'm done in. And I found myself held instead of dead. I've been in a lot of bad places and a lot of ugly things, God. And it's like, this is really really bad. He goes, I gotcha. But it's been so bad. It's been so awful. I gotcha. But, I can't stay. It won't work. I gotcha. Nobody's got me. I I mean, think about if you think back, if you look back through the wounds of your life, you will find, I believe, that one of the deepest wounds, at least for me, was no one defended me. No one advocated for me. Where was my advocate? So, it's like when you figure you're on your own and that means alone, the idea of, like, resting in the arms of comfort, it's hard to trust. Hard to trust. Isn't it amazing that the second beatitude is trusted? Your ending is my holding you for your new beginning. And we cry our guts out about the losses and they said, our our rescue leads to mourning. And then, blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. This means, blessed are those who tell the truth about living, their hunger, what's happened, where they are, what's going on. People wanna give them things. Do you understand that when you become a human being, people start wanting to give you things? When you become truthful about the story of your life and the feelings in it and you're not trying to take something from somebody, you're not trying to steal some somebody, people start giving you things. But blessed are the meek for they would inherit the earth. In other words, you become rulers. Your willingness to live and surrender makes you a ruler. The people come to you and give you things. They give you trust. They give you responsibilities. They give you opportunities. They give you they give you, challenges. They give you their hearts. They give you their hands. They give you their head. They're saying, leave me. That's amazing. Think about it. And the definition for meekness, as we're talking about right now, is passion. A willingness to be in pain for something matters more than pain because someone someone rescued me. Someone advocated for me. Someone stood stood stood in for me. Somebody defended me. You think I'm not staying with them? I'm staying with them. I'm in. Not as a I'm scared to leave. It's just I get it. I know what alone is like, and I know what not alone is like, and I'm going with not alone. And I want others to know. So we're naturally creators. So this brings you to passion that gives you intimacy. Intimacy. Passion lets people know you from the inside out. Intimacy is a fragrance that draws people who are looking for life and repulses people who aren't. So passion leads you to intimacy, which draws people to trust in you. Intimacy of being in relationship with other people continues to draw you to integrity. Integrity is honestly what society doesn't believe in anymore, that your private life and your public life match within the context of boundaries. And what I mean by that is private life and public life, k, it's all the same material, but the people out here don't as know as much as the people in here, but still the same substance. That that have you heard it before? But at 1AM, somebody can find you, and you're the same person that they find at 1PM except you're asleep, possibly. Do you follow? You don't have a double life. You're not a show or posturer. It's like you really are affected by life because people are looking for other people who are affected by life so they can trust to be affected by life. It's the defenses that are killing us, not to our exposure to living. You know, there are a lot of people who really don't like me, and then there's some people who really, really, really like me a ton. But most of them would all say he means what he says. He's he he's living what he's talking about. So that's called integrity. But it what I'm saying is that people are looking for integrity even as crazy it sounds, even if the integrity is something you don't like, but it's something you can trust. Do you see that? Because trust is what people have to have to be able to be safe to love. Trust is earned, and integrity is how you earn it. And then finally, it moves us to the results. You will live fully. You will love deeply. You will lead well. What we want to do, you wanna wake up and lead well. Now what this means is what this says is the map to freedom, it takes a lifetime to learn how to live, and you don't know if you did it well until you're dead. Now check this out. It is the ultimate non egotistical model, but the truest self fulfillment expression. This is what it cost to have a legacy and leave one. It takes a lifetime to learn how to live. I think I'm the oldest person in the room. I'm 58 years old. It takes a lifetime to learn how to live. And you know what? I really am at 58 beginning to get that. Now on some level, as you've heard me tell stories about struggling, like, even imperfect parents, say, if Tennyson William forgive me, I'm so sorry I missed that. You know? You keep waking me up to me because I'm gonna stay in it with you. You hear me talk about struggles at 58, toxic shame or insecurities or fears or wondering how to lead or, god, how do I go find that out? What do I need to do? On some level, do any of you in your twenties think, good night. I mean, by the time I'm that old, I'll have that. I'll get that by then. Right? But you could do you get what I mean? It's so hard to accept that you're gonna have to take a lifetime to learn how to live. Yes. Of course, you'll learn and you'll relearn. And then you'll have to say, I'm sorry again because you're gonna be human from now until ever. And that's gonna mean having to learn, making mistakes, a lot of the same questions, reviewing the answers you thought you had are gonna become new questions. It's just amazing. So it takes a lifetime to learn how to live. And you don't know if you did it really well until you're dead. And that's the map to freedom. It's it's living without ego. It's living your true self. Living who God made. You're not after power, you're after others. It's about full presence, so others can have their lives with you.

This is Stephen James, the executive director of Sage Hill Counseling. Thanks for listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. If you're interested in learning more about the power of our core eight emotions, I encourage you to check out Chip's book, The Voice of the Heart of Paul the Full Living.