Longings, Part 5: Justice

Transcript of a Sage Hill Live Fully Podcast conversation with Dr. Chip Dodd. Lightly edited for readability; speaker labels omitted.

You're listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. Sage Hill is a social impact organization that helps people see who they are made to be so they can do what they're made to do. The following podcast was recorded at this year's Sage Hill training, an in-depth experiential training that helps people bring their heart to what they are called to do. To learn more, you can visit sagehilltraining.com. So the fourth longing is longing for justice. This this experience of having a place where no harm is done, and if harm is done, then it is fixed, repaired, changed, stopped. Okay. Now surely, we don't have to talk too long about that because you look around your world and you see that it is always a daily fight to seek it, to move it, to shape it, to continue to create it, to stop injustice. So you can see that longings are those things that we must continue to fight for in a place where they can't be completed, which requires that you and I be able to live having to face life on life's terms, and the only way to do that is through relationship with ourselves, others, and God. So we long for justice in a world that where it's not going to continue to always be here, and we have to continue to reconstruct it because it's always gonna be deconstructed. We have to continue to work on building peace because it's always gonna be deconstructed and we have to reconstruct it. Now there is also a demand for longings to be fulfilled so that people won't have to feel. There is a demand for longings to be fulfilled so people won't have to feel. So justice and peace and home and safety really means you put me on, take me to a place where I won't have to grow, I won't have to become human, and I won't have to do the work of reconciling myself between the truth and reality. So I want you to know that those four things could be demands or they can be that which we work towards we can't have. I'm on the side of those things we work towards that we can't have, but that doesn't mean don't work. And let me give you an example of that which will key continues our motivation because something motivates you to continue to work in a world of of continuous failure. You got me? So So something that motivates everyone in here to continue continuously work in a world of failure. So something, somewhere you've seen, you've experienced, you're motivated by something in you that you're made like and somehow you've experienced in such a way that you absolutely can't help but wish to make a difference. And the difference you're make gonna make is somehow attached to those longings. Now, if you see a child abused, something in you wants that to stop. They want that you want that to stop. So I'm saying that that that within us is that which continues to pursue the longings within us even though we know we will live in failure. Living in failure is means facing that we're not gonna live in perfection. We live in creation. And living in creation is like living here, where creation is broken. And there is this great experience of redemption that occurs through our neediness and neediness exposes feelings, needs, desires, longings, and hope to our relational craving. I just I just think it's pretty amazing. Now, so those are the four longings. We've done a lot of preface to it. We refer to addiction related to it and impaired desire. See, we're made to live with expectation, but not with demands. We're made to live high expectation, but not with demands. High expectations. Now, if it doesn't turn out like my expectations, then it's really important. That's kind of the cutting board or the winnowing floor to decide if you're really a person who can long or if you're really somebody who just demanding that life work out like you want it to because you want it to. So we're made to want what we want when we want it. If any of you think that's, like, wrong or childish, it's not. You're made to want what you want when you want it, but you're not mature enough to handle that until you can hear the word no. So, you're made to live with high expectations and be able to not have them come true, which means you've gotta be capable of feeling your feelings, telling the truth, giving it to the process, which means staying in the river of living. Now, I tweeted out yesterday that longings allow us to live in hope and walk towards someday. Longings allow us to live in hope and walk towards someday. Okay? So the hope of that which is not going to happen can still happen some, maybe a lot, maybe a whole lot, maybe a lot for a long time. I still contend that even when our country was started that the the signers of declaration of independence, I think it was, Ben Franklin or somebody said that, you've established a country or something. He said, yeah, it's a great idea if you can keep it. Something to the effect that this is an idea that we have formed and it it can come true if you'll keep it, but you gotta you're always gonna have to work on it. This wasn't established now we're done. It's established now we begin. Like marriage. You know, the cartoons say, you know, they say, and they lived happily happily ever after. And then they end it, the end. Well, no. That's the beginning, but they don't wanna show it because it's not happy. And a lot of times, it's not ever after. That's just sad. Using humor to express something sad, which is what we're masters of, by the way. Using humor to avoid just mountains of tears. So what longings are, also, your birth with them. They come with your very breath. They come with your very breath. They come with you. You don't know it, but before you can think, you're acting on them. They come with you. Because remember, before you're able to think, you're living. Before you're able to think, you're connecting. But wherever before you're able to think, you're already fully human. K. Do you understand you're fully human before you think? Grasping, reaching, believing, hoping, expressing courage, working, and you're not thinking a lot, you're just going after fulfillment. It's called connection to the caregivers and then pivoting around with in your world, waiting for your diaper to be changed if it's uncomfortable. And then once it's changed, you're ready to go piddle some more. So you're born longing. And then either you grow into who you're made to become and can continue living in those longings or you start spending your life not getting your hopes up so you won't be so disappointed. In other words, you spend your life avoiding those longings, and you do so through, development of an ignorance disorder. An ignorance disorder is a disorder of doing whatever you gotta do to ignore your life and what's happening below your neck. Okay? That's an ignorance disorder. And it's practiced by the most intelligent and accomplished and academically achieved to the dumbest, lowest, academic achievement you can imagine. Ignorance disorder has nothing to do with stupidity. It's everything with willpower used to ignore what's happening with you emotionally. God, it's just it's rare it's a rampant disorder. I mean, rampant. And then people accuse people of the ignorance disorders who have ignorance disorders. That's really a bad problem because they're demanding that the people with ignorance disorders change so they won't have to feel themselves because they have some feelings, but they want their feelings to go away. So they demand that people around them not be ignorant. And I'm telling you, ignorance disorder in a marriage really works badly because happily ever after stops when you get married, And then you've got to contend with life on life's terms. Did it y'all struggled in your marriage, haven't you? I mean, y'all are very happily married, obviously, but like Right? But y'all was like like like, who's the main problem? And then then the the the ignorance disorder requires that you live in denial. Denial is, what do I have to do to stay blind so I won't feel? And then finally, denial requires you gotta understand it. Denial requires that you develop some kind of mental disorder or addiction. It's a requirement. To have an ignorance disorder, you have to eventually grow into denial. And to keep the denial, you have to remain ignorant. And to do so goes against how you're born. Remember, you're birthed with longings, and feelings and needs and desire within you take you to them, to the spiritual life. And you know the spiritual life is connection with the invisible and being wanted by it. Like, how do you do that? And how do you trust that? God is faithful. Connection to the invisible and trusting what you cannot see. It's like, I'm not sure I'm up for that. You see? So you gotta be pretty secure in the feelings and needs and desire to lean into the world of the future. So only people with high expectations who can grieve deeply and celebrate greatly can live in the world of longings. Otherwise, you gotta keep your life small. And a small life goes against everything a baby's born to have. I remember Tennyson so well. He's he's in the driveway. It's like June, diaper, Santa Claus hat on. And, I don't know where he got it. We had it on. I pours down rain in Texas. There's a short driveway to where Kelly's sitting and across the street in a plank fence and then, you know, the rest of life. And I see a rainbow. I said, Tennyson, there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Just like thinking, okay. You know, just talking to him, playing with him. And he, really? Kind of like that and starts walking towards the street. And he said, take me there. Take me there, daddy. I went, well, first of all, I'm lying to you. You know, let's start there, and we'll work out of it. But I mean, what I'm saying is you're born with it. You're born believing and looking for it, and you're born really, detached from reality, but fully alive in the truth. Even to the point where you're looking for your parents to always stay together. Because like you're made to, because I need you both. And you you like always want good for me because you you're the one brought me here. That's what I want for you too. But you're made to want more good for me than me for you, especially at first, because I gotta grow into this because I ain't got nothing to bring. You got it. I don't. Longings. Without them, you can't attach to your parents. It's way past needs. You you literally have a picture of what you hunger or long for your parents to be like even after you've met them. And I don't mean as an insult. I mean, even after you've met them, you still don't give up on the picture you have of them in spite of what they do. Because have you noticed that no matter how terrible they pretty much can be, that means me and you who are parents, Have you noticed that it's very difficult to stop loving them? Have you noticed? It's very difficult to stop wishing to have them know them and for them to see you and, like or or to hear, like, I guess I gotta tell you, I know you're gone, but I think about you all the time. That's what makes separation so beautiful. Like, I'm so glad you're leaving to this to the parent saying to the child, so glad you're leaving because you can. But the moment you turn around and walk away and I see your back, I'm gonna cry my guts out because I don't want you to go. But I'm so thrilled you can. See, I wanna do it again. That way I'd repair all the holes. Do you know? And they would say, like, I wish I could stay so you could, but I don't want to stay. I gotta go mess up. Yeah. But they don't say that, you know, but they they know they can. That's that's the beauty of living in a broken place with people who are wholly, whole human. The best we're ever gonna get is human. I don't like it either, but that is the best we're going to get. And we have to wake up and accept it every day. Accept it. It's not okay, and that's okay. It's not okay, though it's okay. Because otherwise, God's not gonna get to be God. Unless you're human, there's not much room for God.

This is Stephen James, the executive director of Sage Hill Counseling. Thanks for listening to the Sage Hill podcast with Dr. Chip Dodd. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, anxiety, depression, or burnout, please reach out to the Center for Professional Excellence for help. For more than twenty years, CPE's long term residential treatment programs have been helping professional men recover their lives, marriages, and families. To find out more, visit cpenashville.com. Further, if you're a therapist, a pastor, or professional that works with people, and you'd like to be better equipped to help them live fully, we invite you to learn more about Sage Hill Training, an in-depth experiential training to help you bring your heart to the work you're called to do. You can visit sage hill training to register.